So sorry for the brief hiatus. These past two weeks have been some of the most hectic thus far in my life! On top of presentations for work and going to Missouri’s capitol to rally for Medicaid Expansion, I closed on my very first home and made the big move across town. I cannot begin to explain the feeling of being able to provide a safe and comfortable home for my daughter… What makes me most proud is that fact that this is something that I have done all on my own, just for us.
If someone would have told me even five years ago that I could be a single mother, working a job in nonprofits, buying a home and making big appliance purchases or choosing wall colors in my free time, I would have laughed in their face. That’s not how it is supposed to work, it is definitely not the so called American dream that everyone has been cramming down my throat while growing up!
In high school, I had my life planned out down to the last detail. My plan was simple; marry Ryan, my high school sweetheart by the age of 25, take the next five years to travel and do fun married couple things, buy our first house by the time I was 30 and IF we ever decided to have kids… well, that needed to happen by 35 at the very latest. HA!!What a joke. Ryan and I were broken up before I was 25. Including him, I could have been married twice by now but ran far in the opposite direction of any aisle. I did some traveling on my own to find myself, studying abroad a semester of college in London and taking part in a summer internship located in northern California. I was shamefully wooed into bed by a timeshare salesman who made lavish promises of a future together but in reality I was just another quest to conquer. He ended up giving me that child that I wasn’t sure I ever wanted before the age of 30. And NOW! at 27, I am proud to be a dating mother of 1, who just purchased her first home.
The old Sarah would be cringing at the way life has unfolded…but the old Sarah was no fun and way too stuck in what is viewed as “normal” or a quote on quote “perfect life”. I relish in the fact that I can look at the twists and turns I have taken in this life and see them all as learning experiences, or little pieces of a puzzle that makes me the woman I am today. The truth is, there is no such thing as “normal” and there is no perfect life. There is only the journey that has brought us to today and nobody can diminish YOUR journey!
Am I happy that I didn’t marry when I could have? Yes! Both examples were great learning relationships to help guide me in what I am looking for in my perfect mate and if I would have taken the safe and easy route of getting married because it was a logical next step or because I was dying to walk down the aisle in a pretty white dress, then there is a very good chance that one or both of us wouldn’t be our happiest selves and/or it would have ended in divorce which is way to expensive for my blood. Venturing off to do my traveling alone instead of in a couple, I learned things about myself that I never knew existed, strengths I never knew I possessed and dreams I never realized I held for the future.
Am I happy that I fell for a line and a few gifts from a greasy timeshare man? No. BUT that skeezeball gave me Sawyer and she is the absolute light of my life. Not only did I get a precious child out of the deal, but throughout the process of being cheated on while I was pregnant and left alone as a single parent, I gained a new found courage and strength that I never had before or at least I didn’t know it lived inside of me and that is something that can never be taken away! Not to mention that this new courage pushed me to look into purchasing a home which I never would have done on my own in the past. This means that I never would have found out that there are loans and grants out there to help people just like me, get into new homes, with little to no out of pocket cost and a lower mortgage payment than what I was shelling out in rent every single month!
Is this the perfect American dream that so many strive for? Hell no. Would I have my life turn out any other way than it has? Definitely not! This is the unAmerican dream and honestly…It’s absolutely perfect for me 
I am honored that you have come back to read my crazy thoughts on life as I know it. As always, please feel free to comment away if you have any thoughts on the topic! I love conversation.
Wishing you all the very best.
-HonestMomma
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